Family and Marriage
Family Spirituality is the Journey of
the Family Through Life with Christ.
Family relationships and family events are holy and sacred in and of themselves. There is no need for families to behave as if they are in church for their spiritual life to be all that it can be. We need to recognize and celebrate Christ’s presence in our ordinary days and lives.
No two families will have the same spirituality. While we affirm families as they are, we still challenge them to even greater accomplishments in some areas of their lives. Opportunities for a family to celebrate the sacred in their life together fall into two categories: “daily” and “special”.
The following are but a few ideas:
- Prayer is a primary way of communing with our God and others.
Daily: mealtime – From an authentic Catholic perspective, the family meal is naturally Eucharistic. To share a meal is to say that we care for one another. We give thanks not just for the food we eat but for the many ways in which we love and serve each other.
Special: prayers when a son/daughter gets his/her driver’s license. Gathering the family to pray over and send forth of a son or daughter into the military.
- Grace is the power of our harmonic relationship with God and others
Daily: intentionally living in the presence of our family members –physically, emotionally, verbally and most importantly listening.
Special: sharing the family history with the various generations has a unique spiritual value. Use picture albums, journals, diaries and story telling. These have a way of showing “graced” moments.
- Bonding takes families beyond the rituals and traditions, it is the significant or sacred places in our homes; our place at the dinner table, the trunk where
special papers and mementoes are stored.
Daily: a small table or corner that is set aside for prayer/meditation.
Special: a special plate that it used to celebrate a person’s success or Birthday. Having trouble communicating with your teen? Try making a breakfast out date once a month, one on one. Excellent reconnecting & bonding opportunity).
- Sacraments have an identity with the lived experiences of people. “It is often said, if the sacraments aren’t lived at home, the kids won’t get the meaning in church.”
Daily: nurture your marriage, cherish your relationships with extended members of your family.
Special: participate in anointing of the sick. Truly celebrate baptisms, First Holy Communion; make a special date with your spouse.
- Beatitudes, Corporal & Spiritual Works of Mercy, Parables and Bible Stories. Opportunities to participate in these occur daily. Families can also make sure that they are intentional about their work. Helping each other and neighbors. Turning off the TV and sharing a scriptural passage or Bible story.
Special: Plan a monthly family service project such as visiting a nursing home, helping at a homeless shelter.
These are but a few ideas found in various materials from the National Association of Catholic Family Life Ministers, www.nacflm.org .
Other recommended sites:
Strong Catholic Families Strong Catholic Youth
Christian Family Movement www.cfm.org
Claretian’s Home Faith Page www.HomeFaith.com
RCL’s Faith First www.faithfirst.com
The Four Tasks of the Christian Family
1. The family is to form an intimate community of persons.
2. The family is to serve life in its transmission, both physically by bringing children into the world, and spiritually by handing on values and traditions as well as developing the potential of each member to serve life at every age.
3. The family is to participate in the development of society by becoming a community of social training and hospitality, as well as a community of political involvement and activity.
4. The family is to share in the life and mission of the Church by becoming a believing and evangelizing community, a community in dialogue with God, and a community at the service of humanity.
During 1979-1984, Pope John Paul presented a series of Wednesday audiences that have become known collectively as the Theology of the Body. These highly philosophical reflections on the experience of the human experience through Scriptures will be recognized as the philosophical foundation of the new evangelization in the area of marriage and family ministry. ( See George Weigel’s biography of John Paul II, Witness to Hope).
Our ministry is not simply about structures and programs, but is offering a vision to the human heart that calls it to a new life in Christ. Our structures and programs must facilitate this re-awakening of the human heart toward the truth of marriage and family and the spiritual renewal of our Church.
In the United States, the National Conference of Catholic Bishops adopted a document in 1988 entitled, A Family Perspective in Church and Society. The intent of this document is to apply the four tasks of the family to a practical model composed of four elements that should serve as the foundation of understanding the family perspective as it relates to the organized pastoral work of the Church. These are the four elements adopted by the Catholic Bishops of the United States.
1. Adopt a Christian Vision of Family Life: The family is an intimate community of persons bound together by blood, marriage, or adoption, for the whole of life. In our Catholic tradition, the family proceeds from marriage—an intimate, exclusive, permanent, and faithful partnership of husband and wife.
2. Family is a Developing System: The family assumes the individual person lives, not in isolation, but connected to others. This connection with others creates a system that defines the way the community interacts with one another in the face of change and conversion. It is in this community that the individual finds identity and stability in the midst of on-going changes.
3. Family is Diverse: American Catholic families are not all alike. In addition to the normative nuclear family, there are single parent families, families of divorce, culturally and ethnically diverse families, families that share different faith traditions. The family perspective celebrates the uniqueness of each family. It seeks to build on each family’s strengths in order to meet the distinctive challenges that each unique family faces.
4. Partnership between Families and Institutions: We no longer live in a society in which all the needs of the family are met internally, but rather families are regularly interacting with a variety of public and private institutions, governments, programs and the like. Families spend a great deal of time and energy coping with the institutions that now share their responsibilities and coordinating many of the services they receive. Institutions such as parishes and schools must not only respect the primary responsibility families have for the well being of their members, but also enable families to fulfill that responsibility.
The family perspective document offers the church a new “family lens” through which Catholic parishes can direct their ministry. It is a visionary document that embraces the realities of family life in America today. The document offers its readers a series of reflection questions they can use test their parish outreach to families.
The Church continues to be committed to the renewal of marriage and family in our society. John Paul II proclaims this need in Novo Millennio Ineunte : “At a time in history like the present, special attention must also be given to the pastoral care of the family, particularly when this fundamental institution is experiencing a radical and widespread crisis.” (47).
For more information about marriage and family life documents, please checkout these web sites: http://www.usccb.org/ and http://www.vatican.va/
Also see the Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraphs 1601-1666 regarding the Sacrament of Matrimony.
Please pray for all people involved in marriage and family life ministry efforts.
[Compiled by Jan Wonacott, MTS Director Marriage and Family Life Office, Archdiocese of Portland]
