CT/E.L. Hubbard

The conference opens with 2,000 men from the Tri-State area in song.

Annual conference empowers, engages men

Over 2,000 attend 14th annual event

By David Eck

ARCHDIOCESE — The differences between a group of college football players and about 2,500 adult men can be stark, but Brian Kelly found a common thread: Focused development leads to success.

Kelly, the University of Cincinnati football coach and a keynote speaker at the Catholic Mens Fellowship Conference March 1, explained that developing football players throughout the week leads to a win on Saturday.

The same applies to development of one’s faith — it can’t just be one or two hours on Sunday.

"In life, you don’t win on Saturday if you are just going through it on Saturday," he said. "We develop our players six days out of the week."

Kelly, who was raised Catholic and educated in Catholic schools, shares the values he learned at home as a child with his players, he said.

In recruiting members for his team, he looks for people, not players. He looks for men he can trust, those with a strong moral fiber. When recruiting a player, he not only talks to the guidance counselors, he’ll talk with the players’ opposing coaches and even school janitors.

"(What falls) on my shoulders as a football coach is the development of our players spiritually," he said. "The spiritual growth of our players is tantamount to success. That development is so important."

Kelly shared the three straightforward but vital rules for his team: respect women, don’t lie and don’t steal.

"Those three things will get you a ticket out of our program," he said. "You will not be invited into our house if you break one of those three rules. If you don’t break one of those three rules, we’re going to work with you in our football program and teach you the right things to do on a day-to-day basis."

The lessons, which were formed by his Catholic upbringing, apply to men as a whole

"All the things that we talk about relative to respect(ing) women comes back to the Golden Rule, treating others the way you’d like to be treated," he said. "I think all of these are foundations for them to build on later, so as they develop as young men they can go back to some of the core philosophies that were taught when they were at the University of Cincinnati."

One last lesson: There’s nothing wrong with sharing your faith.

"It’s cool to be Catholic," he said "I just think it’s important to know that somebody that is in the community as much as I am, to let them know where I stand with my faith and how important it is to what I do on a day-to-day basis.

"It’s cool to have a strong faith," he said. "You don’t have to be quiet about it. I’m not saying you have to wear your faith on your sleeve, but I want people to know that it’s okay to be a strong Christian and to talk about it and to help others seek and find their faith."

About 2,500 men attended the daylong conference at Cincinnati’s Music Hall. The day also featured discussions of men’s issues and Catholicism, a demonstration of a fellowship meeting and more than a dozen exhibitors such as schools, fraternal organizations, Catholic stores and organizations.

The conference included an opportunity for reconciliation and a closing Mass concelebrated by Covington Bishop Roger Foys and Bishop Ronald Gainer of the Diocese of Lexington.

The conference, the 14th annual, is intended to help men deepen their faith and sharpen their relationships with each other and their families. A secondary aim is to encourage them to join a fellowship group or start one in their parish.

Jim Siegel of St. John Parish in Deer Park has been to all but one conference.

"I come back for the speakers," he said. "I come back for the fellowship. It’s very rewarding. The speakers always put your mind straight."

One of those speakers, Tarek Saab, an entrepreneur and Catholic speaker, urged the men to look beyond their careers during an easygoing, lighthearted presentation. For him, the goal is focusing on getting to heaven, because if you don’t make it to heaven, nothing else really matters.

Saab, who was a contestant on the television reality show "The Apprentice" drew plenty of laughs as he talked about his high-flying career as a 20-something.

"It’s real easy to get distracted by the things of the world," he said. "We certainly all have our vocations and for many of us, especially men, it’s to put food on the table and provide for the family, and I think it’s very easy to become distracted and focus on work and work too much. I think we have to recognize that our primary vocation is to our families and the responsibility to get them to heaven."

Saab, who worked as a manager at Texas Instruments, spoke of his high salary, travel and material things. Still, he wasn’t happy. It was that unhappiness that led him to a career change.

In addition to becoming a Catholic speaker, Saab co-founded LionHeart Apparel, a Christian men’s clothing company, in 2006.

"It was just a slow progression of dissatisfaction day after day, not being happy enough with my clothes, with my paycheck, with my car, with whatever," he said. "I just came to the conclusion over time that no matter how far I went, it was never going to be enough."

Other speakers at the conference included Father Mark Burger, pastor of St. John Parish in West Chester, Missionary Servant of the Most Holy Trinity Brother Loughlan Sofield and Society of Our Lady of the Holy Trinity Father Phillip Chavez, who spoke on male leadership.

"I think that men are in great measure not validated in a lot of these natural roles that they have, said Father Chavez. "In a Christian perspective the man is the head of the home, as Christ is the head of the church, but he’s the head in such a way that he’s sacrificial, that he lays it all down for his wife and children. His leadership is sacrificial. It’s not just to simply dominate or oppress. It’s to really give of himself to his fullest."

One of the first fellowship conferences in the country, the Cincinnati event dates to mid-1990s when about 450 men gathered at St. Gertrude Parish in Madeira to listen to former high school and college football coach Gerry Faust.

Over the years tens of thousands of men have attended the conferences, which have featured such speakers as U.S. Sen. Richard Santorum, Prison Fellowship Ministries founder and former presidential advisor Charles Colson, and former football coaches Lou Holtz and Mike Ditka.

The Cincinnati event has spawned dozens of similar conferences around the country.