MARYKNOLL, N.Y. - Dativa Nyangezi Ngaboyisonga, 34, believes that she survived the 1994 killings in Rwanda that claimed the lives of 800,000 of her countrymen because God wanted her to be a living witness to the power of forgiveness.

"Death skipped over me five separate times during the genocide. I thought my time was up, but here I am doing what God has spared me for," she said Nov. 13.

She is now superintendent of Rwanda's Kigali Central Prison, where one-third of the inmates are serving time for participating in the genocide.

Ngaboyisonga spoke at Maryknoll headquarters during a 10-day trip to visit prisons in New York.

Joining her at Maryknoll were Father Ron Lemmert, a New York archdiocesan priest and a chaplain at Sing Sing state prison in Ossining, who was one of three prison chaplains who visited Rwanda in July, and the Rev. Petero Sabune, an Episcopal chaplain at Sing Sing.

Ngaboyisonga said that when the government-encouraged genocide began in April 1994 she took refuge in a crowded church. "It was packed," she said. "Everyone was fighting to get in. The priests and nuns came and helped us prepare for death, but I didn't think we would die."

There was not enough room in the church, so Ngaboyisonga gave her space to her aunt and young nephew. After she left, she said, "the killers came, shooting and throwing grenades. The place we thought was a sanctuary is where they were killed."

Chased by the gunmen, she ran with four boys, but could not keep up with them. "I fell. The killers passed me and killed the boys. I thought they would hunt me and kill me."

Ngaboyisonga said that she prayed to God: "If you spare me, I'll do whatever you want. I will serve you and even try to serve these people."

After hiding for five days in a forest and escaping a snake attack, she met up with other survivors, including members of her family. But they were captured by soldiers, who took whatever possessions they had and made them strip naked.

Ngaboyisonga described a daylong horror in which her father and aunt were among those tortured, killed and mutilated in front of her. Others were subjected to random amputations, rape and grenade detonations, she said.

"They said they wanted to see what a Tutsi baby looked like, so they cut a baby from a pregnant woman next to me and threw it on the ground. The mother bled to death," she said.

Ngaboyisonga said that each time it seemed to be her turn to be attacked, a gun-toting soldier told the others, "She's mine. I'll kill her later." She said, "I prayed to be killed quickly."

When that soldier removed her from the group, she managed to escape and fled in a downpour to neighboring Burundi. She was eventually helped by international relief groups.

After the killing ended, she returned to Rwanda, where a Canadian religious Sister, who was a former teacher of hers, asked her to help as an interpreter for the child soldiers who had been captured and imprisoned.

She was reluctant, but she remembered the promise she had made to God and agreed to do so. She took care of 448 child soldiers.

"I'm here to show you the love I've found since God spared me," she said she told them.

The children eventually began to call her "Mama." "I started to teach them that they had to start to ask for forgiveness," she said. All of the children were released and returned to their families.

Ngaboyisonga took a job in the Kigali Central Prison and progressed to superintendent, despite her age and gender.

She said some people do not understand how she can work for people who tried to kill her.

"It's possible to change their hearts," she said. "We have to build a society and try to rise above (the violence). The Hutus and Tutsis lived together for centuries before colonial times. Now we need to find the love that cuts across all the differences."

Part of the solution is the National Unity and Reconciliation Commission, established by the Rwandan government that came to power after the genocide. The process includes perpetrators confessing to their crimes and seeking forgiveness from survivors and victims' families.

"You start teaching it in prison and everyone in the prison takes part," she said.

Her experience gives her credibility with the inmates, she said. "I am a walking epistle. People see what I do, and they are curious, and it gives me an opportunity to talk about forgiveness. When I leave, they continue to discuss it - and sometimes you see prisoners crying for the first time in a long time. It must be God, because I can't do what I do by myself."

Father Lemmert talked about his trip to Rwanda.

"We thought we were going there as the experts to tell them how to fix their problems," he said. "It was a humbling experience to find out they were doing very well. The whole emphasis is on the gospel of forgiveness. These people have committed such horrific acts that they have to be treated with a lot of love. And the recidivism rate is practically nothing."

Ngaboyisonga's message and method had particular resonance for Rev. Sabune. He is a Ugandan whose brother was killed by that country's dictator, Idi Amin. In introducing her, and translating Ngaboyisonga's comments from their native Kinyarwanda, he said it had taken him 20 years to forgive Amin.

"Talking about forgiveness is part and parcel of what we do at Sing Sing, but if we don't forgive and get reconciled, we don't get anywhere," he said. - CNS